感想...

明天是我在NZMY的最后一天。我觉得很对不起他们，因为我自己的私人原因而就这样的进来两个月又离开。同时也很感谢他们的包容。我甚至隔离自己，就像一个陌生人或毫无相干的人在office 里，活在自己的世界。当然，如果有的选择的话，我也不想回去SAM Media。可见我对Library这一份工是多么的重视，它带来的影响和扰乱了我的正常生活。

每一晚，我在Library工作都想了很多东西。我想，这就是典型的金牛座吧！

- 我很怕我的付出到最后竟然是什么都没有

- 我忽然间很想家

- 我不懂我到底为了什么而做

- 我会不会有一天死于抽烟过量而肺癌？

- 结婚后，我的生活还会一样吗？

- 等等...

I'm Back Again!!!

Finally i'm back again in The Library but this time in Mid Valley.

For me, this is seems a simple job but yet uneasy to manage. I think i'm finally understand what's the concept that boss wanted to be in the Library. Unlike other club, Library is the place for you to chill out and chatting. Music that i played is just the background so that people in the Library don't have to shout/yell to talk with each other like other clubbing place. However, they had prepare an artist list for me to follow where some certain artist are prohibited. For example : boys band like backstreet boys, Westlife or Idols like Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera or even Justin Bieber. The pumping songs like Black Eyed Peas and Lady Gaga also not allowed to play but soft Hip-Hop & RnB are fine. However, songs that too slow or "karaoke" type like Celine Dion, Enya or Bryan Adams - (Everything I Do) I Do It For You are also not allowed. Moreover, songs that always played in other places like Hotel California, It's My Life, Zombie and etc are also avoid to play. This is extremely freak me out with their "blacklist". It's more limitation than The Library @ The Curve.

Somehow, there are some certain artist/song that boss hate are also not acceptable. For example Mariah Carey, Shakira, Rob Thomas ft. Santana - Smooth, Songs from Michael Jackson after 1984 are all not allowed to play. OMFG...this is really insane but yet i have to follow this rules. I never hate with this "blacklist" but i just don't understand why they have to set such limitation in order to create this culture in The Library @ Mid Valley. They're prefer 90's stuffs and i understand but later on, after filtering some of the artist, i really don't have too much songs to play and slowly we're also added some current pop/rock as well.

Why i said simple job? The songs that i play, i don't mix it but just chop and play. For them, it is a easy job and this can even do with PC with setting the playlist. At first i also think of that : Why boss need me to play these songs while the PC itself can do that. Later on, i also understand the flexibility of human is far different with the set programmed in PC. Why and How? For example : I can play to pumping retro songs if the crowd has more elder working adults or sometimes i can play more latest pop/rock if the crowd has more teenager in which i think PC cannot play the right music at the right time. Therefore, i'm trying hard to make a better music flow. Which mean, even though my music are not in the mix but i creating the mood or feel that can keep them sitting on the chairs. I think the main challenge in DJing in The Library compare with other club is :-

• In club, the music has to make them stand up and dance
• In Library, the music is keeping them remain on their seat and yet staying longer

I feel grateful that boss also kinda tolerance to me (at least he did not force me to make announcement) We all know my announcing/public speaking skill is sucks and yet i know boss prefer the DJ to announce the promotion that we have. I'm suppose need to have someone who can make the announcement but then where i can get an Emcee just to make announcement there and yet i have to pay them myself?

I'm always worrying my music is boring. I'm trying to play different style on every single days and the experience was gain from this way. Sometimes, it does getting good result but sometimes not. Sometimes, it also made me feeling bad if i can't play the song that customer wanted. I promised a customer that i will play Justin Bieber - Baby for her (that time boss said soft RnB is fine). One of the boss, Ashwin shouting at me "Change this song!!!" right after i played and then Justin Bieber's song was started in the blacklist since that day. I can hear from the bar, that lady said to the bar tender "The DJ is bad, bad DJ! Promised me to play the song but never play..." I was feeling so bad when i heard this, i'm so wish to explain to her but then i did not do that. I think it is not rational to explain to the rest what am i doing and why i not do that and etc. I just can apologized to them from my heart. Since after that night, i never seen that lady come again...

I met DJ Vick few days ago who will going to replace me during my off day. Nick a.k.a. DJ Roundhead was strongly recommend him because of his music knowledge. I do hope he is a right person to replace me and yet he is friendly (this also remind me how i'm started working in The Library when Ben asking me to spin for him). Vick told me, i must have my own style. Own style...this thing was always in my mind for long time. For which DJ doesn't wish to have their own style? Sometimes i wondering, is the crowd should listen whatever the DJ playing OR the DJ playing whatever the crowd wanted OR DJ playing what the boss wanted? What are the style i can do in the Library? I'm doubt...Nicky also told me once that every DJ should have their own anthem but what is mine?

Last night, i was really damn moody after listened Oshin's advice. Suppose my feeling getting better when i reached The Library but then the customers piss me off with what i hate the most. Got a customer request a song, One Republic - The Secret and i told him i played before. He keep on request it and asking the bar tender to talk with me. WTF!!! I hate this kind of selfish person where i already told them i'm not going to repeat the songs and yet they do not know how to respect my decision. Some even worst was the waiter there pretend customer to request song. Yes, i understand everyone down there like to listen the songs they like but not in this way.

Oh ya...i've resigned my job in NZMY. I really do a lot of changes because of this job. Like what Nicky said "save your complaints for your girlfriend if you cant handle the heat and stress of the DJ Console" I'm tiring with 2 jobs day and night but i enjoying it!

Outlook of The Library

The Bar

Live Band - Russell Curtis

It has been another while

Haiks...i really not a good blogger, lazy blogger...
A lot of things to share but always lazy or busy to start...
later in the early morning is the world cup final which Netherlands VS. Spain. So i guess Angeline and i will watch this final match at Ming Tin, Taman Megah.

Koninklijke Nederlandse Voetbalbond — KNVB

Real Federación Española de Fútbol

Both teams never win world cup before and both also my favorite teams. However, i'm personally support Spain more than Netherlands. Why? May be FC Barcelona is my favorite team. It's also too bad that couldn't see Messi perform well during this world cup.

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14 June 2010 - My first day working in Netzed Web Agency where the office just opposite from my previous office. To be frank, i'm not really like the office environment but the profile of this company is quite interested me. The HQ of this company is based in France but the IT team is work at here (well, cheap technical labor in SEA yet with quality). They did a lot web site for Tag Heuer, Shell and some racing or GP web site. This is something i never done before and I believe this knowledge will gain more business value in future rather than doing SMS application where always need to stand by, trouble shooting yet always need to argue with those graphic team maniacs which i cannot stand with.

Besides than environment, i also feel i have a gap with my colleagues. For me, they are too quiet and i never work in such office where is so quiet and stress. I really don't know how long i can survive in this company. The headhunter told me how best of the benefit of this company but then in the office, they don't even have nescafe, instant cup noodles, limited petty cash every month..I really doubt it! I guess this is also the first office i work where don't have these...but one good thing in this office is : the broadband damn fast!!! The download speed can up to 200kbps.

The feeling really weird that when you go to work at new place like going back to your previous office. Perhaps Jalan Ampang really small, i almost met my ex-colleagues everyday when i go for lunch like Ampang Park, Wisma Central or temple (these few hot places). Last Friday, got some work to do until 1.30pm only took my lunch. I was thinking, just go nearby cafe 8 (because i haven't been there since i work in Phileo Megan Avenue I yet that's a good place where i can smoke although i went alone) and time like that shouldn't be meet any ex-colleague. Manatau, after i placed my order and started to smoke, i saw Alice and the rest queuing at the cashier counter! **fainted**

Of course i'm not hate to see them just that this will remind me the good old time memory and made me miss them even more. Is it i choose the wrong place to start my new career? Hmm....

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15 June 2010 - Nicky a.k.a. DJ Roundhead just informed me on 12 June that I'm going to be the resident DJ for Library 2 where going to open soon in Mid Valley. I guess nobody can understand how excited i am in my deepest heart. Back to mid December 2009, i leave Library with hate: hate of Ben owed my wages and hate those who wanna interrupt the music i played in Library. C'mon, we're professional(I dare to say!!) and we know what music should play at the right time. You limit us not to play those boy's band, clubing, house music but at the same time the manager came to request song because of VIP customer request it even the song already played several times!!! Cannot play club's song yet want to drive the crowd, cannot play too much of RnB while customer keep on request. It's pretty fuck up...and i was so hope i can back on the deck someday.

However, everything still not confirmed yet. It's still too early to happy because it might change to others as long as i not yet signed the contract, isn't it? While right after that day, i was so busy to search the songs that based on the list given by boss. Out of sudden, Nicky asked me to join the photo session for "The Pokemaxxx La Familia". Pokermaxxx is our DJ team where Nicky wanna promote this on magazine. I was so happy I've called up for the photo session which mean I'm also part of the family! With no choice, i took half day unpaid leave for this just on my second working day at new company...

Recently just got the 2 photo from the photographer. I don't know why it took so long but anyway, just share this at here:

The Funny Side of Pokermaxxx

The Serious Side of Pokermaxxx

The Members of Pokermaxxx (From Left to Right)

- DJ Merduc

- DJ Darren

- DJ Awie

- DJ Jokerz

- DJ Round Head

- DJ Ezu

- DJ Eric Takashi

- TJ da DJ

- DJ Jeff Coding (me)

- DJ Hyper

- DJ Jamie

-----------------------------------------xxx xxx xxx------------------------------------------

我的生日

5月13日 晴 01：25

我的生日日期是一个富有争议性的日子，五一三事件。我想，时下许多年轻人应该都不知道这件事了吧...不说你不知，我的出生日期的确是“黑色星期五”

和往年一样，没什么庆祝。总觉得今年的生日很沉重。最近发生很多事情，当中应该是我要辞职的事吧！在这间公司呆了2年半...是我至今最长的一份工。我很喜欢这里的环境，可是当人多了，是非也跟着来。可能是我小气或钻牛角尖，总觉得自己的付出永远不被认同。

星期一那天，Office Manager - Mary 就过来跟我说：“今天我们准备为你庆祝生日，由于今天secret recipe的蛋糕不多，所以我订了一个chocolate almond brownies给你然后另外买两盒ice cream来配着吃。”我其实感觉很无奈，

1。 你用不着跟我报告这一切，难道你会因为我说不喜欢而做别的安排吗？

2。 其实我很想带我的相机在Sam Media的最后一个生日会中和他们拍照。可是，这都太突然了。

十月就去台湾了。很期待，但也很忧虑。这是第一次带着自己的父母和angie的家人一起去。这也算完成了我的心愿之一。一路来总觉得，出来做工那么久了，从来都还没带父母出国旅行，反而只有自己享受。去过了巴厘岛，香港和曼谷，所以想带着她们和我一起去台湾。偏偏自己的财务管理又不好，还了债，自己又大花。总是看不到自己的储蓄。打工仔一生的无奈...

另外，我的好友 - 纪贞 就要回加拿大了。我知道这个是他蛮痛苦的决定，可是为了他自己的前途，我也赞成/鼓励他去外国发展。不是说大马不好，只是这里的发展空间实在太有限了。

回顾我过去一年所发生的事，感觉有点唏嘘。人事已非...曾经的好友，现在反目成仇。但也认识了不少朋友。感情方面都还算稳定吧。事业也还好，只是财务方面就不太行。

以前生日的时候，手机的短讯总是响个不停。现在，全部都只用Facebook来祝贺，手机目前为止只响了两次。哈哈哈！其实，都还蛮感动的，至少还有人记得我。

今年生日的愿望...呃....结婚？好像还很长远...发达？如果可以的话最好！减肥？是时候要开始了...

最后，送上这个MV : 溫嵐 - 祝我生日快樂

"I don't think you get what i mean" + "你到底明不明白?" 挑起的神经线...

2010年5月8日 2:30am 晴

刚才在车上聊到angie工作上的事，基于大家有不同的看法，大家争执得脸红耳赤时，突然被问道：“你到底明不明白？”。随之，我就喝道：“我懂！我懂！”。接着就鸦雀无声，一片寂静。开始感觉到她“不爽”了，道歉也太迟了。我的牛脾气，大家都知道的。懊恼着自己的冲动，也再想为什么我会对 - “你到底明不明白?”这么排斥？是因为日前在工作上也同样被人提问“I don't think you get what i mean” 有关吗？

那天在公司，为了迁就某些人的方便，IT(我)又被摆上台要做一些“高难度”修改。对我来说，要改，不是问题可是值得吗？难道迁就他们就是方便，然而麻烦我们就是应该的吗？这是其一。

最恨的是：当我在解释解决方案时，又被人说：“I don't think you get what i mean”然后又在解释一遍。结果到最后，他们也接受了。我感到很纳闷，沮丧，失望，到底是不是真的是我的问题？是我表达能力差吗？我那天差一点就想大声对他说:“is YOU don't get what i mean,fucker!”

我有自己的情绪，我生气因为：

1. 当我在尽心尽力要帮你（公司/女友）解决问题时，请不要怀疑我

2. 我不是一个逞强的人，不明白的话，我不会随便发言。当然，我未必是100%对，但请你不要再我说完之前否定我。

我是有脾气，但是没有人从来想过为什么我会要发脾气？我是无理取闹吗？我大可以什么都不用管，只听你说，没意见，我干嘛要那么在乎？

在公事上，只要你搞砸我的东西，我势必跟你势不两立

在私事上，当你发觉我对你不闻不问时，那就是我已经放弃你了

想了很多...也不知是对还是错...是我要求太高还是我没有要求？...

2010年的第一次流泪，就在今天...

我在Library的日子

在朋友的介绍之下，我成为了The Library 的DJ。这可说是我人生的转折点。

The Library是一间gastro-pub。虽然不是一间Club，但我也还蛮enjoy的。在这里打歌会比较闷因为他们都是来喝酒多过听歌，但这里也是和客人最近距离接触的地方（当然他们来找我都是要我放他们喜欢的歌）。

每一天放工后，就赶场。有时连晚餐也没吃。在这里，认识了很多新朋友，也增加了我的音乐知识（music knowledge）。年轻人都会喜欢一些POP,R&B 或 ROCK 之类的歌，一般上12点前，我都是放一些POP/ROCK的歌...一些比较dance/club的歌都是12点开始。但是偏偏老板就是不喜欢Library 播这类型的歌（因为他要制造跟Club不一样的Pub）所以也要穿插一些Oldies(顾及老人家嘛)然而，星期三有Jazz Band，所以我又会放多一点爵士。所以这里造就了我的基础。

做了一段日子，我发觉为了我这个兴趣，我被逼牺牲了爱情和家人。几乎每一天，我只有从早上起身到载她上班前后不到一小时的时间相处。然后一直到放工，为了赶场，我也没时间载她。就那样工作到凌晨3点多才回家，她已经睡了。也因为这份兼职，我很久没回家了。我家人老远从巴生到Library找我，为了看我那几十分钟。这份工，值得吗？其实，本来工作时间并不是这样安排的，但就是为了所谓的好朋友，为了"back him up"，为了他的饭碗，我毫无怨言的顶他的工作。结果，到最后也因为涉及了他的私事，我们也闹翻了。最后，我选择了辞职，离开这个圈子。

之后，有人offer我到Quattro的Winter Bar及Sanctuary。呆没多久，3月（2星期前），他们说老板要省钱，不需要兼职DJ了...（所以现在才有那样的闲情写blog）唯有等...

除了认识新朋友，也在这里遇到了很多很久没见的朋友。然而，也很感谢那些在我工作期间来捧场的人。

Intro of first post in 2010

My last post was in 13 Sept 2009...I really lazy to write blog although i have a lot of sharing with my friends.

Why am i resume it back?

It is surprising me that one of my good friend asked me this afternoon : "Why aren't you update your blog anymore?" As normal reply, i answered "Busy". In fact, I really felt touching at that moment because there is someone reading this (where all this while i thought nobody will read my shit...lol)

Another reason is, i'm much more free now. Previously i was concentrating with my career, working day and night. I was damn tired but i happy because i doing something that i like. However, later on, i found that there are something more important than this which are love, friend and family. Without these, i won't be Me today. (but still this is not the reason that stopping me)

Anyway, here i send my regards to all my friends here and wish you all the best in 2010!!!